Narcissism and the relationship with proneness to shame

Amanda E Ferguson (1996)

The study reported here was conducted by the author and examined the relationship between narcissism and proneness to the experience of shame. The study was designed to replicate and expand on previous research, using a survey comprising five questionnaires: two tests of narcissism, which were thought to measure different overt and covert dimensions; and three indexes of guilt, shame and associated emotions. Narcissism was found to have a complex relationship with shame such that measures of outer narcissistic behaviour related negatively with shame, while inner covert aspects, related positively to shame. This was thought to support Morrison’s dialectic theory on the relationship (Morrison, 1989, p.64). A complex relationship was found between narcissism and affect (or emotion), implicating guilt as well as perceptions of how others viewed the self. No gender differences were found in this study. It was suggested that overt characteristics of narcissism may have been interpreted in the past as indications of gender differences, where in fact they may be differences of socialisation.

This study was conducted to investigate the relationship between narcissism, a personality construct, and proneness to the experience of shame and related emotions. It was also designed to examine possible gender differences in narcissism, shame and guilt. Narcissism was first mentioned by Freud, and has been defined by psychodynamics theorists as a complex concept of self, signified by a subject’s main interest being self-preservation of ego (Freud, 1931, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 506).

WHAT PRODUCES NARCISSISM?

It is thought to be the result of an inability to develop a unified sense of self in early childhood, rather than arising from genetic sources (Cooper, 1984, cited in Stone, 1993, p. 261). Typically, outer behaviour contrasts with inner feelings. Faulty parental empathy is thought to prevent a normal process of separation-individuation, in libidinal terms, or, to prevent internalisation and transfer of functions from the parental figure, in terms of object relations.

The resulting un-unified self is thought to be left with an underlying sense of loss and incompletion or imperfection. There is a tension, between a now perceived duality: a real self and ideal self, making the person susceptible to a desire for reunion with now idealised others, or to displaying contrasting outward defence mechanisms of grandiosity and autonomy (Grunberger, 1975, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 516). This can be seen as a splitting of self. Often overt success will hide covert problems of self esteem and cognition (Bach, 1977, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 513).

The pampered child may come to regard itself as better than it is. The neglected or maltreated child may show a duality: overt compensatory specialness covering covert unworthiness (Stone, 1993, p. 260). A vulnerable self-esteem is common to all theories, with varying inclusions of emphases on experiences of shame and guilt, and defensive an adaptive elements (Hockenburry, 1995, p.321: Kohurt, 1997, cited in Watson et al,. 1992, p. 447).

IS THERE A NORMAL LEVEL OF NARCISSISM IN US?

Low levels of narcissism are thought to be normal and common, serving as adaptive constructive processes of defence against the potential of shame and related emotions to be overwhelming (Watson et at., 1992. p. 447). By comparison, maladaptive narcissism tends to make a person more prone to such injury: as seen in someone who has grandiose opinion of themselves, and is bound to set them selves up for disappointment and consequent feelings of shame.

Adaptive narcissism allows a capacity for deep objective relations: this capacity deteriorates in pathological narcissism (Kernberg, 1975, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 509). Narcissism as a personality shows a biased informational processing style which distorts meaning to see itself always in a positive light, even if it means negating or denying the truth (Horowitz, 1975, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 514).

WHAT IS A NPD?

Narcissism is characterised by a set of strongly opposing tendencies within the person. A discrepancy is seen between the person’s overt and covert self, between their outer behaviour and their inner feelings (Akhtar, 1989, p. 521). This characteristic centrality of splitting in narcissistic personalities is exhibited properly in the true complete profile of a personality disorder.

It is identified as covering six areas of the person’s life (Akhtar, 1980, p. 519) in which the overt and overt manifestations may also be, respectively, conscious and unconscious, as seen in Kohut’s horizontal splitting of grandiose self (Kohurt, 1997, cited in Watson et al., 436). The disorder features constant attempts to protect the overt illusion, including manoeuvres and fantasies to aid this (Kernberg, 1975, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 509).

MALE AND FEMALE STYLES: GRANDIOSE AND SYMBIOTIC

The two most common styles of narcissism: grandiose and symbiotic, show these dimensions (Hockenberry, 1995, p.308). The classical description of a narcissist is of an overt grandiose or phallic style, typically associated with the traditional male gender role (Reich, 1933, cited in Akhtar, 1989, p. 506). Outwardly, features range from arrogance, dominance, self-centeredness, drivenness, exhibitionistic, articulate communication, to contrasting hypersensitivity and defective empathy (Akhtar, 1989, p. 506-8) and to disguise insatiable cravings for admiration.

Narcissism has been thought by some to be reliably measured by the Narcissistic Personality Inventory (NPI) (Watson, et al., 1992, p.434). A person scoring high on this inventory portrays the aforementioned characteristics of the grandiose style, with exploitative / entitlement dimensions most clearly at the pole of maladjustment.

Others argue that the NPI only measures a particular style of narcissism, the overt grandiose style (Harder, 1990, p.287). The symbiotic narcissist is thought to have the same underlying feelings of shame and imperfection, while being overtly different, and being conscious of these feelings. The symbiotic narcissist is thought to exhibit more of the libidinal desire for merging, rather than the desire for autonomy, seen in the grandiose narcissist. The symbiotic narcissist is characterised as passive-aggressive, using martyr or victim roles and suffering to maintain the illusion of control and omnipotence (Hockenberry, 1995, p. 308).

Theorists have debated the focus of narcissistic personality. Either the outward grandiosity or symbiosity is viewed as a primary expression of the state of the self, or as a defence against a true inner vulnerable self (Morrison, 1989, p. 59). Narcissism has been described as an oscillation between vulnerable self-esteem and an archaically perfectonistic ego. Morrison reconciles this overt-covert dichotomy with a concept of the ‘Dialectic of Narcissism’ (Morrison, 1989, p. 640).

GUILT AND NARCISSISM

Previous research has shown correlations between narcissism and self-esteem (Watson et al., 1992, p. 434) where adaptive narcissism has been associated with higher levels of self esteem and maladaptive narcissism with lower self esteem (Kohut, 1997, cited in Watson et al., p. 434). There has been much psychodynamic theoretical research conducted in this field, yet very few empirical studies. Early

psychotherapists linked unconscious guilt with psychopathology (Harder et al., 1992, p. 584), while more contemporary research has found a stronger link with shame, some theorists argue that guilt is not important to narcissism (Harder et al., 1992, p. 592), while others find a relationship (Wright et al., 1989, p. 221). Previous empirical studies have used measures of narcissism and shame that appear to have concentrated on the more overt aspects of both.

SHAME AND NARCISSISM

Shame is thought to be a more primitive emotion than is guilt, identified as arising earlier in life, and for this reason, too, is linked with narcissism (Harder et al., 1992, p. 597). Shame is thought to be associated with fight or flight responses and the defence of true self, while guilt motivates more interpersonal responses (Hockenberry, 1995, p. 303). Shame is thought to result from a cognitive sense of imperfection, as an affective response to the perception that the self is imperfect, and hence as inevitably linked with narcissism.

In contrast, guilt is considered to be a response to hurtful thought or action (Morrison, 1989, p. 48). Because of these differences, experiences of shame are said to produce a more global self-devaluation than do guilt (Lewis, 1971, cited in Harder et al., 1992, p. 587). Experiences of guilt are depicted as originating with less reference to the self. Hence shame can be seen to be a more harmful sense of self.

Shame is experienced in an external way, as loss of the ideal object’s love (Chasseguet-Smirgel, 1985, cited in Morrison, 1989, p. 61), and humiliation in the eyes of the omnipotent other, or in the internalised values and goals related to fear of loss of love by the other, who can also become a shame (Morrison, 1989, p.62). Recent research has emphasised that experiences of shame, while involving self-evaluation, also involve beliefs about how others judge the self (Goss, 1994, p. 35). Beliefs that one is perceived as inferior, empty or prone to making mistakes, are thought to be important underlying factors in shame, that may be expressed covertly rather than overtly.

SELF ESTEEM AND NARCISSISM

The literature seems to show some confusion about the relations between narcissism and self esteem (Watson et al., 1992 p. 448). Negative correlations with shame in pathological narcissism have been explained, as the result of the operation of a defensive self esteem, a disowning of the shame. Others have viewed this low level of self esteem as an indication of a developing self esteem, saying that entitlement seems to be the narcissist’s main problem (Watson et al., 1992, p. 448).

The two types of experiences seem to be interrelated to the narcissistic injury (Wurmser, 1981, cited in Morrison, 1989, p. 51). The overt narcissistic response serves to protect defensively the self, as a result of feelings of shame, while conversely, shame serves to maintain emotional boundaries and sense of self for those so prone to such loss through merging (Lewis, 1981, cited in Morrison, 1989, p. 52). This defensive manifestation of shame is seen in recent results where shame correlates negatively with the NPI (Harder & Zalma, 1990, cited in Watson et al., p.448).

SOME CONCLUSIONS ABOUT NARCISSISM AND EMOTIONS

Much of the previous psychodynamic research has debated these unilateral theories: narcissism needs lead to a sense of imperfection, and shame is the inevitable feeling: or, in reverse, that the self’s experience of shame is so painful, that it constructs narcissism to deny it. Others, particularly Morrision, argue for a dialectic relationship, where one informs the other, an alternation of narcissism and shame, between external or object relations and internal, ideals and defences surrounding autonomy.

Morrison argues for an appreciation of the circular relations between the narcissism and shame, as operating on various different dimensions, encompassing elements of guilt as well. Shame may be ultimately related to narcissism, but the nature of this relationship remains unclear (Morrison, 1989, p. 65).

Research has pointed to possible gender differences in narcissism and shame and associated emotions, both in the different forms manifested (Harder, 1990, p. 285) and in proneness. Many theorists argue that there may be more than one style of narcissism stemming from the same issues of shame and grandiosity (Hockenberry, 1995, p. 307), and that the way this dialectic dynamic is expressed may indicate gender differences. That is, there may be a role of gender in producing the tow main styles of narcissism: grandiose compared with symbiotic. More recently, others have argued that differences are the result of roles or socialisation, rather that of gender it self.

GENDER DIFFERENCES

Although some theorists argue that females experience more shame, others find no such difference ( Harder et al., 1992, p. 591). However, discrepancies are found such that different measures produce contrasting results, where females have scored higher than males, (Harder et al., 1992, p. 591). Whether or not there are gender differences in the prevalence of narcissism, there do appear to be gender-role differences in the different ways that narcissism manifests.

The research suggests that females might exhibit more overt shame and males more covert grandiosity. However, differing social needs between the genders (Hockenberry, 1995, p. 301) may cause the development of these diverging styles of narcissism, based on the socialisation of overt and covert behaviour, rather than on innate gender differences.